stage 1 - shock & denial

This is the horrible gut punch stage when you first learn of a loss. You may feel the overwhelming rush of emotion.You may go numb and think “This isn’t happening.” Nothing feels real. This is your temporary way of dealing with the situation, a defense mechanism. 

Just as the shock begins to fade, the pain sets in. This stage is when the reality of the loss sets in. The pain may be extremely difficult to handle, and it may feel physical as well as emotional. You may even start to feel guilty about something you could or should have done for the person (even if it's illogical). 

During this stage you may experience feelings of anger or frustration.  Some people may feel angry at a person who caused a loss.  Others may have feelings of anger directed toward God or a higher power for not preventing the loss.  During this time, some people who are grieving may try to bargain for a chance to have things end with a different outcome. 

This may be a period of isolation and loneliness during which you process and reflect on the loss. The reality of the loss may be felt more during this stage, as attempts to bargain for more time are not realized.  Withdrawal from others to deal with feelings of grief alone is a common occurrence during this stage. 

You are beginning to feel a little better each day. At this point, the stages of grief like anger and pain have receded, and you’re left in a more calm and relaxed state. What you may feel is a little less pain, a little less sadness, and more of being okay.

During the reconstruction stage, a grieving person begins to start to work through the aftermath of loss. It is here you can begin to put pieces of your life back together and carry forward.

During this stage, you will likely find that it is easier to talk about the loss you have experienced without experiencing as significant an impact as you did earlier in the grieving process. You can begin to put pieces of your life back together and carry forward. It is important to understand that grief is not a linear process. You may feel you have come this far only to slip back to another stage at any time. Continue self care!